Can Parents Determine My Marriage Partner for Me without My Consent?

Question:
My parents don’t want me to get married to a person I like. How can I convince them? Isn’t it my right to get married to whomever I wish? Do the parents have the right to determine their children’s choices even when the children are following Islam?

Answer:
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Thank you for your question.

Communication is very important in matters such as determining a suitable marriage partner. In most cases, parents are looking out for the best, regarding their children. Parents are duty bound to provide encouragement and sincere guidance. However, parents are not to force their children into a marriage. You should respectfully communicate to your parents, your choice of a good spouse. Your consent is mandatory for the marriage to be valid.

“A previously married woman has more right regarding herself than her guardian, and the permission of a virgin must be sought (for marriage).” (Sahih Muslim)

A young woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) and told him that her father had married her off against her will. The Prophet (peace and blessings of upon him) gave her the choice (to nullify the marriage or stay in the marriage)” (Sunan Abi Dawud)

“It is not permissible for the guardian to force a sane mature virgin woman to marry... if she refuses (to marry someone), she cannot be made to marry.” (Mukhtasar al Quduri)

And Allah knows best.

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Badat
Hadith of the Day Imam
Imam of the Islamic Foundation of Toronto and Director of Mathabah Institute